My Story

My Story

I can't remember a time where I wasn't fat. I have seen pictures when I was four and I remember being surprised at how I looked thin just like any four year old. It was as if I thought I was born fat.

I know I could spend a whole blog blame others for what I am, but my relationship with food is nothing but my own fault. It could have been my parents fault for not teaching me how to eat healthier, or perhaps being the middle child of five caused a need for emotional attachment to food. But in the end, it is what it is and it is my choices that lead me to be 23 and still over weight in this body I don't want to be in.

Grade school I was made fun of my whole life for being fat. My older brothers were monsters insulting me every chance they got making sure I knew I was over weight.
High school to me was a place filled with kids with hormones raging through their bodies and everyone just wanted to put the next person that walked by down. So there I sat awkwardly at the back of each class room, trying my best to go unnoticed. I had many call me names and laugh and point, and at that point I was about 40lbs over weight.

After high school I slowly realized the world isn't has bad as being in that building filled with teenagers. I got a job went to college and lost 20lbs weighing in at 180 pounds. I wanted to keep going but I lost my way a bit and after a breakup ending up turning back to my old friend, Food. I ate and ate and didn't work out and then gained back the 20lbs plus some.
My heaviest was 220lbs... I currently am at 218... I want to reach 140 and I want to prove to myself I can fight the emotional eating issues I have and just lose weight and feel better about myself!